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So I like, many gay men, was tired of the hookup one night stand club/bar/app scene. Once I turned 31 I decided I wanted something real. Unfortunately much to my chagrin when I made my way into gay dating scene I realized that gay ‘dating’ and hooking up where pretty much synonymous with each other. I set up a profile on the growlr dating app making it abundantly clear I was interested dating not hooking up. Nevertheless I would still receive messages from guys asking to see my genitals and/or questions about my lower anatomy. When I asked some of my gay friends about this they simply responded that this is normal and that they just wanted to make sure my male appendage met their requirements so they didn’t waste their time. “What?! Are you serious?!” I exclaimed. Gay men really base their dating/relationships decisions off of something frivolous as penis size? I was disgusted. Then I thought ‘well maybe these guys are just the exception’ ‘let me ask a wider audience’. Fortunately for me I am an administrator of a large group of gay men on facebook and I asked them how they felt about asking such, what I perceive, to be very personal questions to someone they just met. Much to my deeper chagrin they largely echoed the answer of my friends. Answers such as ‘it’s one of my first 10 questions’ or ‘yeah there are too many guys out there to date someone with a small d’ where pretty much the theme! I was totally floored!

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During my hookup days I proudly showed off my johnson and it really helped to reel in some eager bottoms but by the end of that phase of my life I felt empty, alone, and objectified. I guess for me meaningless sex is just that; too meaningless for my soul to bear. I refused to go down that path again. I then tried meeting people outside of the net, which I will confess isn’t my strong point, and even that didn’t work for me as well. Basically I faced the typical gay conundrum. The guys I was interested in dating friend zoned me and the guys that were interested in dating me I friend zoned them. Then one day while studying biology I remembered that my father (who was a divorcee) went to the Philippines and found a lovely wife and they have been a pair for over 14 years now. Now that gay marriage is legal in the United States I thought that I could meet a nice Filipino groom that wasn’t so ‘liberated’ as American gay men when it came to questions of sexuality. It helped that I am an experienced international traveler with over 3 years of living in another country under my belt. So basically traveling is my favorite hobby so international/overseas dating fits the bill for me perfectly.